Sunday, January 7, 2018


In the wake of at least two days of national dispute concerning President Trump’s mental health and fitness to serve in office—capped by Mr. Trump’s announcement that he is very smart, very stable, indeed a genius—all that’s left for this nation to restore proper order and sanity from border-to-border and sea-to-shining-sea is to organize a formal IQ test for the president, administered by some appropriate agency, e.g., the Department of Homeland Security or possibly the EPA. Based on Presidential Tweets, Mr. Trump’s ability to score at least 98 percent on that IQ test is so certain that actually taking the test would seem to be redundant. Therefore American Mensa, an element in Mensa International, should declare President Trump a member.

Trump as a member of Mensa, however, produces some awkward problems. The name of this organization is taken from the Latin for “table”; more to the point, that table is supposed to be round, symbolizing the meeting of equals. And that’s a problem, isn’t it? Mr. Trump may not wish to subordinate himself in such a way to the world’s aristocracy of intellect.

The solution, I suggest, is a renaming exercise. Mr. Trump, having been invited to join, will no doubt immediately tweet saying: “I’m Mensa. Didn’t I tell you?” The first part of that tweet, ignoring apostrophes and case, could be rendered as IMMENSA—or making Intellect Great Again. Mr. Trump could then get to work on having IMMENSA’s symbol changed to a gigantic cone—of which he would be the tiniest but highest atom at the very top.

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